November 18, 2011 – “Breaking Dawn” now showing
Friday, 18:03
“Last night was the best night of my existence.”
- Edward Cullen
I supposed to watch this movie today but suddenly, the plan has changed. I wish we could watch this together. I know if maka watch ko ani, ako napud ning e-relate natong duha. You know what, I missed you so much.
I really miss you so bad.
I love you very, very, very much!
Are you lying to me?
Did you really registered to Globe promo last Sunday or last Saturday night? Nawa lagi kag kalit gabii? And so the other night pud. I’m so sorry nga naingani napud ko. I know that you are busy sa exhibit and I should understand. But lately man gud, murag nagsige nakag lie nako. L two times ko nagtrack nimo in the past few weeks, and the location were somewhere in or near Cabawan Maribojoc, then you said diha ra ka sa balay. Guba siguro ang tracker. Di ko gusto mo confront nimo kay di ko gusto mag-away ta. I don’t want to doubt you that’s why, I stopped tracking you. Then two Sundays, ni attend kag mass but nakalimot kas sermons, did you really went to mass? I’sorry. I’m just being negative. Yesterday sa net, I can’t help but opened your fb account and shared to you some music videos, binata lang gud. Tan-aw pud kos fb sa imong x ug sa inyong baby. Txt2x pa mo? What’s your plan man? Do you still like and love her? Ang nakaingon lang bah, nga di ka makigbalik niya kay gusto nimo siya ma change but dili niya kaya? Hahay, insecure napud ko. I need you to comfort me. I MISS YOU SO MUCH!!! 18:20
November 28, 2011
Monday, 8:21 Am
Sayo ta nagsanghiranay nga matog na gabii but dugay ko nga nakatog. Daghan kaayong na sud sa akong huna-huna hangtod nga nakahilak ko. Our relationship is full of doubts sa usa’g – usa. Dili na healthy ang atong relasyon. One of the goals of this relationship is to inspire each other but as time goes by, mas daghan naman hinuon ang mga hurting moments tungod sa walang humapay nga doubts, selos ug uban pa. I’ve tried to change everything nga dili nimo ganahan like mananghid na ko ron when I’m about to do something, giplano pa ang akong mga lakaw, ako nang ipahibalo nimo bisan duha-duha pa na siya nga madayon but murag nisamot kag duda. Then, gibuhat nimo ang mga binali, ikaw napud ang dili mananghid and kung magpahibawo man gani, kanang nahuman na like kadtong nitan-aw kag sine last night nga gibilin ang phone. Dili jud ka padistorbo? Daghan ko kaayo ug gitxt nimo but after all, you’re just acting like nothing happened. You could be happy without me. Kung puro lang ta bawos bisag walay angay nga bawsan, maguba jud ta. I love you so much but I guess, this is not enough to save this relationship. Basin masayang lang ka sa kadugayon natong duha maong gapabilin ka nako. Sakto ka, we could always be like this until nga mag-uban ta. Since I’m hopeless nga moabot nang timema, better to end this na. kita gihapon but you’re free anytime.
THINGS I NEED TO DO STARTING TODAY:
1. Never ever visit or open Kidron’s fb account.
2. Avoid words of sweetness and thoughtfulness to him.
3. Don’t send him messages if he doesn’t txt me first.
4. Never demand anything from him.
5. Expect him to be cold and dry towards me.
6. Kung magselos ko? I will just keep it as a secret.
7. Dili ko mowatch ug movies nga iyang giwatch, I will watch another.
8. I will believe everything he says and keep my doubts to myself.
9. Avoid talking too much with him.
I’m not doing these things to forget him because it’s impossible to do. I’m doing these because I want to minimize my pain as well as his pain because of me.
I might be a drug to him.
He gets high, active, happy, hooked, addicted and inlove with me, not knowing that I’m harmful to him, losing opportunities to live completely happy with someone he deserves. I’m ruining his life. But first time in history, a drug fell inlove with him. This drug has life and feelings because this man added meaning to her existence. And because of this LOVE, the drug chooses to disappear. L
9:07 am
December 5, 2011
Monday, 17:40
Gamahay kog dako uyamot nganung niopen pa ko sa imong fb. Nganung gapatintal pa jud ko ug tan-aw. Nahugno ko ug nangurog. Kusuga niniyo magpasuya uy. Gusto jud ko mohilak. Nanglibre diay ka ug spaghetti ug burger niya? Nanghatag diay ka niya ug boxer shorts? SELOS KAAYO KO! But I wont let you know. If mosulti ko nimo, same rag gi spread ni nako sa tibuok kalibotan, I know imo pud ni e-share niya tanan. Gamahay ko why gapaunli pa kog balik, alkansi jud, ayo pay nitan-aw ko una sa fb. I don’t know what to do. Nag kayo2x akong panan-aw jud. Nasakitan ko kayo but mao man ni imong gusto. CONGRATS! Daug napud ka, daug napud mo. But dili nako ipahayag nga affected kaayo ko. Mada ra nig pa wal-wala. Happy tahay ko ug nindot akong pamati. Wa na bah jud tay secret nga kita rang duha nakahibawo? Kelangan ba jud nimo e-share sa ubang tawo? Ako raba, I treasured everything about us. Kung naa man koy na share sa akong bestfriend, siguro 10% kinadak-an. A while ago, nananghid ko nga di magpaload. Busy kos akong blog. 4 letters pa ang akong na post. In kaso lagi if dili nimo makuha ning mga letters atleast, naa sa blog ma access gihapon nimo. I’m running out of time. I can’t tell kung kanus-a ra ko taman. These nonsense letters are the only witnesses/evidences how deep is my love for you. I wrote down all my feelings here. Basta, I LOVE YOU saksi ning pen ug paper ug si GOD. Someday, ok ra gud nako ipanghambog nimo sa imong close friends nga patay na patay ko nimo. Pero mahangyo bah kaha ka nako nga unta dili nimo ipabasa niya or sa laing tawo ning akong mga letters? Ikaw ray mag-igo jud. Mo exit na kos imong life. Ayaw na ko pasakiti intentionally ha? Aw, bahala na. amping mo. . .
17:59
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